萊恩羊

小公主寄來的XD

看了覺得好好笑，估狗到有人翻成中文

 

 

 

--

 

the rules from the male side

Finally , the guys' side of the story.
( I must admit, it's pretty good.)
We always hear " the rules "
From the female side.

終於，男人這邊的故事
(我得承認，這寫得很好)
我們每次都會聽到女人定的[規則]

These are our rules!
Please note.. these are all numbered "1 "
ON PURPOSE!

這些是我們的規則
請注意.. 這些前面是故意都標"1"的！


1. Men are NOT mind readers.
1. 男人不會讀心術

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. 學著用馬桶的椅子
你是個大女孩了，如果它是拿起來的，把他放下
我們需要它拿起來，你們需要他放下
你可不曾聽到我們抱怨你們把它留在放下位置

1. Sunday sports It's like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.
1. 週日的運動就像月圓或是潮汐一樣
就讓他去吧

1. Crying is blackmail.
1.哭泣等於威脅

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!
1. 想要什麼就開口
讓我們講清楚
暗示沒用！
強烈暗示也沒用！
明示也沒用！
就直說！

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. [好]跟[不好]對幾乎所有的問題都是完全可接受的答案

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it.
That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. 如果你需要幫忙解決才帶著問題來找我們
我們就是這樣
同情是你們的女生朋友的工作


1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.
1.任何我們半年前講過的話都不能在爭執中被接受
其實，任何評論在七天後就已經無效了


1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.
1. 如果你決得你胖了，你大概真的就是
不要問我們

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways
and one of the ways makes you sad or angry,
we meant the other one
1. 如果我們說了什麼話可以解釋成兩種意思
而且其中一種會讓你難過或生氣
我們想講的是另一種

1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. 你可以請我們作某事或是直接告訴我們你們希望那件事要怎麼作
不能同時
如果你知道怎樣作最好，就自己作吧

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say
during commercials..
1. 任何機會下就說出你想說的吧
在廣告的時候...

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
1. 哥倫布不需要路線指示，我們也不需要

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.
We have no idea what mauve is.
1. 男人只會看16色顯示，就像windows預設的狀態
桃子，舉例來說，是一種水果，不是顏色；南瓜也是
我們聽不懂[淡紫色]是什麼完意

1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that.
1. 如果哪裡會癢，就會抓
我們會這麼作的

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing,"
We will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying,
but it is just not worth the hassle.
1. 如果我們問怎麼了你回答說沒事
我們就會當沒事
我們知道你在騙人
但是通常都不值得麻煩

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to,
Expect an answer you don't want to hear.
1. 如果你問了個你自己都不想要答案的問題
等著得到你不想要的答案吧

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really .
1. 如果我們一定得去什麼地方，你穿什麼都很好的...真的

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball or golf.
1. 不要問我們在想什麼除非你準備要討論棒球或高爾夫之類的話題

1. You have enough clothes.
1. 你的衣服夠多了

1. You have too many shoes.
1. 你的鞋子太多了

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
1. 我的身材很有型，圓也是一種型

1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
1. 感謝你們讀完這個
我知道我今晚得睡沙發


But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
但是你知道男人其實真的無所謂，就像露營一樣